4/10
"Presented" and produced by Quentin Tarantino, featuring Michael Madsen, Vinnie Jones, Dennis Hopper and David Carradine...a throwback to grindhouse biker flicks of the 70's combining elements of my favorite genres, Spaghetti Westerns and road movies...couldn't be all bad, could it? Well, yeah. I didn't hate it as much as others seemed to but it was definitely not good, the main reason for this being writer/director/star Larry Bishop. As director, he's passable, though in full Tarantino worship mode. It's his failings as writer and actor that make this movie a real stinker. Some of the dialogue is so bad you can't even laugh, only cringe (an exchange involving the word "fire" as wordplay is particularly atrocious) and Bishop has seemingly cast himself as the lead to put himself in the position to grope as many half-naked women as possible (and it should be noted that all women in the film are portrayed as dick-worshipping, sex-obsessed half-wits, which at least explains why so many of these gorgeous twenty-something women appear so eager to get it on with a pushing-60 Larry Bishop). If you're a fan of the genres it blatantly rips off (or pays homage to, if you want to be generous) it's a bit easier to stomach, but not by much. There's a reason why with all the big names attached, you've probably never heard of Hell Ride...best to keep it that way.
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