Open Windows (Nacho Vigalondo, 2014)

1/10
I was drawn to Open Windows because of its interesting premise - the whole movie takes place on a computer screen, with open webcam windows, videos, chats, etc. showing us the action we need to see to move the plot along. It stars Elijah Wood and Sasha Grey (still desperately seeking some kind of vehicle for her limited acting talents) so how bad could it be?
The initial plotting was intriguing - Wood is a geek obsessed with Grey's actress character. When she stands him up at a contest he won to have dinner with her, a mysterious third party hacks into his computer and grants him access to Grey's phone and effectively turns it into a camera, trying to play on Wood's feelings of betrayal after being stood up for this unknown party's equally mysterious end-game. Even this minimal plotting is rife with ideas - besides the betrayal and want for revenge the movie could have easily dealt with society's increasing voyeuristic tendencies, our ultra-connected worlds, our perpetually-shrinking privacy, the separation of our "real lives" from the internet, etc. Instead, writer/director Nacho Vigalondo dodges all those for bombs, explosions, car chases, ludicrous coincidences, enormous leaps in logic (and technology) and at times painfully old-school ideas about the internet and "hacking" that would have been cringe-worthy in a CSI episode from 2001, let alone in a 2014 movie that should be as tech-savvy as it presents itself.
Maybe I'm not being fair in holding Vigalondo responsible for not making a movie that conformed to my expectations of what his movie should have been about, but the movie he did end up making was so atrociously bad that it only magnifies what a missed opportunity this was. Judging from the numerous guffaws and groans of disbelief in the audience, I wasn't alone in this sentiment.
Also it's probably worth mentioning the theatre's speakers malfunctioned several times during the film, leading to explosive noises at a decibel level unheard of even at most rock concerts and two stoppages during the film to turn the lights on and get things under control. So that put everyone on edge and probably only served to stack the deck further against the movie. But it was a lost cause anyway if you ask me.