2/10
I don't particularly love Seth MacFarlane and didn't much care for his first feature attempt, Ted, either. But in that movie and Family Guy and his other projects he's shown a rare ability to craft a hilarious line that catches you completely off-guard. Almost none of that wit is on display at any time here. Frankly I have a hard time figuring out what MacFarlane was trying to do with this movie. At times A Million Ways almost seems to be a real movie, what with how seriously it takes its central love triangle (MacFarlane, barely doing anything resembling acting, torn between two beautiful blondes, Charlize Theron and Amanda Seyfried). The problem is the love triangle isn't interesting, and there are oddly long stretches where the movie doesn't even try to be funny. There are pacing issues as well, and the movie feels sloppily cobbled together. Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi figure heavily into the opening 20ish minutes and then are practically gone from the movie until the very end. Liam Neeson brings some gruff charm as the villain but he's not in the movie very much either and can't come close to saving it.
But the biggest let down is the humor, or lack thereof. When it is there, it's just not funny - most of the jokes are feeble at best when MacFarlane usually, if nothing else, at least goes for shock value. That the two biggest laughs are supposed to come from Neil Patrick Harris taking a dump in a cowboy hat and a close-up of MacFarlane's face getting urinated on by a sheep are proof of just how badly the mark is missed. These are sub-Farrelly brothers moves, getting dangerously close to Tom Green territory. MacFarlane is capable of much better and the cast he assembled here probably deserved better too.
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